What if we treated Birth like we treat Death?

Jane Whitlock, a death doula based in Minneapolis, gave a powerful TEDx talk that I recently came across. Her message is full of valuable insights.

She begins by beautifully describing birth and death as the sacred bookends of our lives. Then she poses a thought-provoking question: why do we prepare so intentionally for one, but not the other?

To explore this idea, she paints a vivid picture of what it would look like if we treated birth the way we currently treat death:

• A pregnant woman would lose all her friends because no one knows how to talk about what she's going through.

• Her doctor wouldn’t help her prepare for the birth or the life that follows—he’d only focus on fighting the upcoming transition.

• And when she considers seeking support from a birth specialist to help her prepare, friends and family urge her not to give up—as if giving birth were a failure rather than a natural part of life.

This striking comparison highlights just how deeply our culture avoids the topic of death.

Jane goes on to show what we miss out on by denying that death is inevitable—something our culture is especially good at. We miss the chance to heal relationships, find meaning in the lives we’re living right now, and intentionally shape the legacy we leave behind.

Ultimately, we each have the opportunity to live more fully by openly acknowledging and exploring both ends of our life’s journey.