Why I became an End-of-Life Doula

Taryn dancing with her father

As many of you know, I've been through A LOT of transition in the last few years. Family mental health challenges and time to reflect (sponsored by COVID) spurred a move to Austin to be closer to loved ones. Two years later, I realized that my strong desire to create positive change in our community, maintain strong relationships with my family, and keep myself mentally and physically healthy were not possible with constant travel and long hours. I walked away from corporate leadership, took space and time for me and mine, and then my father passed suddenly under terrible conditions. My father-in-law passed away six months later in a much more considered and peaceful way while it still had its challenges.

Through all of this, I learned a lot! I love building positive relationships with individuals and supporting them through change and transitions. We all go through birth and death. Why aren't we better prepared to deal with it?

My father's passing could have been less traumatic for all involved. My step-mother and I felt isolated and alone even though every one of us will go through the loss of a loved one at some point in our lives. We did the best we could with each life-altering medical decision over the three weeks that my dad was in the ICU. But the unknowns and the conversations we hadn't had with my father before he wasn't able to make his own decisions made the process emotionally heartbreaking.

As always, I set out to evaluate this situation and understand what could have been done better. Although I have known about End-of-Life Doulas (EOLDs) for a decade, I now realize the immense value they can bring and I want to provide that support to others. This may be a familiar term to some but not all. NEDA Alliance generally describes EOLDs as providing non-medical, holistic support and comfort to people preparing for, or experiencing end of life…through emotional, social, and spiritual care.

This is a new journey for me that I will do in addition to my consulting practice. I've just started training and I'll share tidbits of learning along the way to hopefully improve our collective conversation and support of the single unifying experience we will all go through. This dance through life is beautiful even when sometimes you have to look hard to see it. I believe the dying process can be beautiful as well if we support each other through it.