Making Space for Grief…Especially During the Holidays

Four Candles tool to intentionally remember those that have died.

As we kickoff of the winter holiday season I am holding close those that have lost a loved one recently and those that are dealing with the daily losses of witnessing their loved one changing.

As a culture we are not very good at grieving. We often expect people to do it in private or not at all, but feelings are real and we need to make space to process them. When we don't acknowledge them and let them see the light of our day they often force themselves out when least expected. The high energy often required during the holidays is a prime time for feelings to erupt.

Hospice Austin has a treasure trove of resources to support your journey with grief. They have a Coping With the Holidays Checklist that I recommend you check out! They have a video to watch and some tips to keep in mind.

These are my top 3 favorite tips for How to Navigate Through the Holidays:

• 💡 Traditions are meant to serve us. If one is uncomfortable or painful, change it or create a new one.

• 📃 Write notes about your loved one and put them in a stocking. You may have a special message or some unfinished business that it is important to express. Then you may share them, keep them private, or surrender them to the ashes in the fireplace as a ritual of healing.

• 🖍️ Grief is a physical experience for children. Lighting candles, drawing pictures, decorating photos, making food, or contributing in some way to the overall ritual can be helpful.

The key is to make space for the tears, so that you can also make space for the joy. Each memory potentially has the gift of both feelings if we can welcome them in.

I wish you all peace and presence as you enter this season!